Here's how I feel about IVs

I DO NOT like them!

Facing fears

I have about 10 minutes to write today's blog post, and I have at least a hundred minutes worth of things to tell you...but here's the fast summary: the best thing about being in Combat Skills Training is that these people make me face my fears head on.

You think I'm kidding...I'm not. Yesterday I had to learn how to insert an IV into a live patient (a friend even - and a friend who I really need while I'm here, so I had to make sure to do it well). We weren't allowed to leave the classroom until we successfully put that IV line in...and I did it. Easy. (Helped that I picked the dude with the biggest veins in the class, but nevermind that).

Today we had the end of our 3-day Combat Life Saver Course. And here's another non-surprise for you...I function best when I'm under pressure. The more significant the pressure, the better. So give me the right training and then put me as a "field medic" in a mass casualty situation and I can triage my heart out, and I'll talk the entire time to make sure I stay calm. Easy. I surprised myself on that one, and that was the best surprise yet.

But what I am never prepared for here is how much there is to learn, and now that I know what my job entails in Afghanistan, I know exactly what I need to focus on here. I tell you what, those 14 hours a day of Wing Exec work-a-thons built endurance like no one's business, but they did nothing to mentally prepare me for combat. This is a whole new ballgame. We're probably working an average of 9 hours a day...a few more if you include PT. But every single minute of those 9 hours tends to be filled with information that could literally save my life. 9 hours doesn't seem like much, but if you saw my face at the end of the day, you'd know that this place is no joke for me.

I can't remember the last time I was this healthy. I also can't remember the last time I could absolutely crush a 5 mile run at 4:30 in the morning. Or out push-up lots of the guys (without cheating). Specific Air Force jobs didn't prepare me for this. So what did prepare me to be here? Race training. And the mental endurance that came from being a German medical experiment for about 2 years of my life. And the thought that there are a few people out there...and you know just who you are...who have come through for me in ways I can't begin to explain. Just knowing that someone is out there cheering for me...even if you don't know exactly what you're cheering for...is a great feeling! Go ahead and keep doing that for another 7 months or so, please.

Did I mention that Rob is going to Kandahar this August? Or that I will see him on Memorial Day weekend? Or that I am leaving this base this weekend to go do more girly stuff than you think is possible? Yes, yes, and YES!

In case you wondered where I went...

I've been consumed by Army training. I have a bunch of great things to talk about, but the problem is that I don't have enough time to write it all down and put it here for you.

Suffice it for now to say that I have been learning more than I ever thought was possible. And I had what I think was the best leadership conversation I've ever had with an Army Major who is here with me. Sometimes it's nice to hear that I do have more of a clue than I thought...after so many years of bosses who were just plain awful, some positive confirmation was nice.

More soon...hopefully by Friday!

One of the hardest things

Apparently one of the hardest things about being deployed will be that there are always going to be people around, and yet I will still manage to feel lonely.

I have the greatest friends in the world, and I would rather be with them than basically anywhere else. But here eating every meal with the guys, hanging out with the guys in the afternoons, running with one of the guys most mornings, and now watching the guys act like jerks and doing keg stands is just a little too much for me.

I'm ready for girl time. So next weekend I'm headed to Houston. We have two and a half days off, so I will get in a car, drive to Houston, stop at a shopping mall on the way, go to a wine bar, go to hot yoga two mornings in a row, spend a few hours at the spa, and just do girly things.

Phew. This place is exhausting.

The dark side of the moon

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is a little rusty on world geography, so today we'll learn about the dark side of the moon.

First, don't say that I'm going to the Middle East. I'm not. I'm going to Southwest Asia. I'm also going to yet another landlocked country. What you can't see in the Google map is the geography in the middle of Afghanistan - the densest mountains in the world.

Are you wondering why I have two little green letters on the map. One is for me, and the second is for Rob, who just found out he is also going to spend 6 months in Afghanistan this summer. Sometimes we really do get lucky. As you can see, we're relatively far apart, and no, we probably won't see each other often at all (thank goodness for Skype), but it is still nice to know that he's there, in the same wacky time zone.

It's Saturday. I have a great story for later, but for now I have class!

Leading by the book

You are about to witness an absolute coup, and to be honest, I can't wait to see it unfold. It has become all out chaos here, and the number one reason it's become so terrible is that our leader (an inexperienced Lieutenant Colonel) doesn't know anything about the 31 other people he's been charged with leading. Which means that horrible creature we in the Air Force call the Idea Fairy has stricken our lives.

In case you aren't familiar with the Idea Fairy, that is the evil creature who delivers the world's worst ideas to senior leaders which they immediately act upon without any consideration of the impact said ideas will have.

Today the Idea Fairy delivered the idea to march to class. In formation. Carrying coffee cups and bottles of Coke. Wearing sunglasses. And without calling any type of cadence to keep people in step. So you can imagine how completely ridiculous this looked as a swarm of 30 or so idiots was parading down the street in a huddle. And where was our grand leader? Running ahead of the formation trying to figure out where we were going. Oh wait, so then we sat in class for about 4 hours and gaggle marched back.

Now I'm all about military discipline, doing the right thing, you know the drill. But I am not all about leaders who lead by the book. If this guy could identify every guy in the flight by face, I would be less insulted when he marched us back from class. Or if he could sit in class and actually learn instead of watching his Blackberry all morning. But that's not how it's going. In order to lead Airmen (or people) you have to know them and they have to trust you. It's really that simple.

And here's a hint...if you can't pay attention in class, I don't trust you. If you don't know my name (after week 3), I don't trust you. If you never sit with any of us at any meal, I don't trust you. So now I have to go plan an intervention so that this dude sees what my guys are all seeing...leadership is not "do what I say, not what I do." When you're a leader, people watch you constantly. And you had damn well better be making good decisions.

Phew. What a morning...

That guy

I'm sure you expect me to write something about how we finally caught Bin Laden, but to be perfectly honest, I don't have a whole lot to say about it. In some ways, I feel like we just took a big kick at a hornet's nest. On the other hand, I feel much safer knowing that the scum of the earth is now literally lying on the bottom of the ocean.

So for now I'll just focus on getting ready to go to Afghanistan, which if you really think about it, existed well before Bin Laden was alive and will exist for thousands of years after he's gone. The only things I can change (even in a small way) are the opportunities for women and children in a country where I really feel like I can make a difference.

And since I'm not a Navy SEAL sharpshooter, I will just reserve my comments to things I am good at...like talking to people.

Nice to hear that the Navy is good at something this week, though, because the Navy reservists who are here with us are making me completely crazy!