Here’s a good secret for you…I think it’s a whole lot of fun to be a girl. Wait! That’s no secret, but let’s keep going with it anyway. I find that in my society there are lots of benefits to being a girl. For example, there are all kinds of gorgeous clothes to wear, secret potions to make me feel beautiful, and only on rare occasion do I schwack my head on the metaphorical glass ceiling.
Enter Afghanistan. This is surely not my society. Now don’t get me wrong, there are things about Afghan culture that I admire…the incredible family-focus and their stalwart desire to overcome adversity…but make no mistake about it, being in a developing country gives me a whole new appreciation for the individual freedoms we Americans tend to take for granted.
As a military officer, I operate in a man’s world. It’s by choice. I’ve been commissioned for 10 years (I can’t believe that) and I’ve been playing Air Force for 14 years. Incredible to think about. In that time, I’d say that 99% of my interactions with the men with and for whom I work have been positive. Sure, there have been times when I was well aware of the fact that I have two X chromosomes, but I usually use those opportunities to prove to the boys that I can handle anything they can. Bottom line…in my world, the playing field is relatively level. Have I mentioned lately that I do not live in “my world” right now?
The Afghan National Army is by many accounts an inspiration. The brave soldiers who serve Afghanistan in the ANA did so for many years in defiance of the Taliban (or at least that is what I choose to believe). Our role in my unit is to mentor the ANA officers in an effort to continue to grow the capabilities of the ANA…we work “shohna ba shohna” (or “shoulder to shoulder”) with our Afghan counterparts. There are many ANA officers here who welcome the advice of their American mentors. Many of those male officers are, despite their cultural biases, willing to overlook the fact that I am distinctly female.
But if I told you only happy stories, you probably wouldn’t still be reading. So let’s be perfectly honest. During one of my meetings yesterday, I experienced what I will pretend is the absolute worst the Afghan National Army has to offer. I was meeting with the one star general, we’ll call him General Herat, and we were discussing personnel issues in his command. I advise on the manning document for the base on which I work, so we were discussing how many people he thinks he needs to perform various tasks. Easy stuff. Things were going well, so one of my bosses, a male Navy officer, changed the subject slightly.
There is a nasty rumor here that in order for women to get jobs on our base, they have to go to an “interview” that requires no speaking at all. Frankly, I believe it. The “interview” is at the home of one of the senior male officers. (Yes, corruption is universal, in case you were wondering). Well, one of the very brave Afghan women reported this “interview” process to the (male) Afghan Inspector General on the base, and my Navy boss broached the subject with General Herat yesterday.
And what was the General’s response? He was not surprised, and in fact his answer was that there are not enough good looking women working on his base and that he hoped the “interview” process would help recruit younger, more attractive women. Oh, and he said this in front of me and Julia, who I think is stunningly beautiful. I was disgusted, and I let one bad experience absolutely wreck my afternoon. Epic fail on my part. This is not my military, nor is it my battle, but I sure did get a taste of what life might be like if I were an Afghan woman…and that alone gave me newfound pride in what we, the Coalition, are here to accomplish “shohna ba shohna.”
And what, do you guess, have I been doing the whole time I’ve been writing this blog on how disappointed I am with the way one Afghan general feels about women? I’ve created a little spa in the bathroom here…it’s facial day. Yes, I embrace the fact that I can kick ass all day with the boys, then go home and be as girly as possible. I just hope that someday Afghan women well get to experience a similar feeling of accomplishment. Excuse me while I go find my lipstick.
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