Mothers be Good to Your Daughters

There are days that I will remember in Afghanistan...and then there are days I will never forget. Yesterday falls distinctly into the category of extraordinary days that will be forever be etched into my memory.

Progress here comes slowly, and responding to very slow progress has taken more patience than I could have ever imagined. But what I failed to take into account was just how magnificent progress feels when I've fought for every inch, side-by-side with the brave Afghan women who serve in their nation's military.

Every Sunday morning we have a women's meeting at the base where I work. The goal is to have this meeting at 9am each week, have many of the women in their uniforms, and to conduct military training together (since the Afghan National Army does not offer any training for women). Yesterday there were 23 women who attended the meeting, including three who wore their military uniforms for the first time in over a year. I invited two American women from another base here to talk about what the Afghan Ministry of Defense is doing to improve working conditions for women across the Afghan National Army.

The most inspiring was the story of Master Gunnery Sergeant Connie (pictured on the right), who has dedicated 25 years of her life to the United States Marine Corps, and is among the 5% of women who proudly serve as American Marines. She told the Afghan women the story of her first deployment to Hondoras...she was the only female on the deployment and her Commanding Officer first refused to take her out with the guys. He was directed to bring her along, only to tell her that although he was directed to take her to Hondoras, no one directed him to bring her back home. That happened in the U.S. military, not long ago in the grand scheme of things, and the Afghan women could clearly relate. It went without saying that things like that happen here every day.

We talked about the value of wearing a uniform and being proud of what we have chosen to do with our lives, regardless of the personal risks. We talked about how serving our countries is an honor that most women will never experience.

Yesterday I finally cracked the code on reaching Afghan military women...it's through their daughters. All of the women who work here are married, and every last one of them has at least one daughter. We talked about how it's our job to blaze the trail for the women who will come after us. I thought of amazing women like my grandmother, now 91, in whose lifetimes the lives and rights of American women were radically improved. She earned a Masters from Temple University in the 40s, watched her husband head to England to fight in World War II, raised four boys and my mother, send a son to war in Vietnam, taught at the School for the Deaf and Blind in Colorado Springs, and yet served as the perfect military spouse at a time when social customs in the U.S. military were highly revered. I often wonder if women here could ever have such incredible opportunities, given the culture and the complicated history.

Afghan women will do anything for their families, and they certainly have that in common with every Western woman I know. And in this case, I hope that mothers in Afghanistan will inspire their daughters to break through the barriers their culture has constructed. No, I don't think that will happen before the Coalition transitions out of Afghanistan in 2014, but days like yesterday make me believe that anything is possible.