You Were Only Waiting for this Moment to Arrive

I am the anomoly in Afghanistan. I'm 32 and don't yet have children, which absolutely baffles basically every single person with whom I speak. But what they don't realize is that I do have people in my life right now who give me what I imagine is a hint of the satisfaction that comes with watching a daughter find her own way in the world. And right now a huge part of that satisfaction comes from watching Julia.

You already know her basic story...married at 16 into an arranged marriage that lasted less than a year but produced a beautiful daughter who is now five. Julia's life now revolves around her daughter and around making choices that will one day lead the two of them out of Afghanistan and to a place where there are more opportunities for women. Julia is the sole provider for her parents, sister and daughter and is the most genuine person I've probably ever met. What I love most about her is that she just "gets it"...and because she has that way about her, I seem to be willing to do just about anything to help her, which I imagine is both a strength and a weakness.

My first project when I arrived in Afghanistan was to assess Julia's English language skills and to brainstorm ways to improve her speaking, reading and writing. Right now she is our least experienced interpreter, and I had a feeling that because she is also the only woman, no one had ever really given her a chance. She has both the heart and the aptitude to be good at whatever she can imagine. Together we found the most widely recognized English language course in Kabul (which doubles as a TOEFL prepratory school) and started dreaming. The tuition is extremely high by Afhgan standards...about $850 for the one year course, which includes two hours of instruction five days a week. I had a feeling that there were more than a few people in my life who would be willing to sponsor this incredible woman as she pursued her education.

Twenty people, primarily my girlfriends all over the world, pledged $50 each to help buy Julia her first-ever laptop computer and to pay for a year of her tuition at the Kardan Institute of Higher Learning. She started English classes earlier this week...and already it's making a huge difference in her confidence alone. Today she explained to me that she needed to approach a conversation with one of the male interpreters with "full confidence." The thought of an Afghan woman approaching anything in this country with confidence is baffling...and to hear Julia say that was extraordinary.

One of the most incredible things about the developing world is that it takes so little (by American standards) to make such a significant impact. By now it should come as no surprise that I love finding ways to make a small difference in the world...and I truly believe that the best way to do that is to find ways to bridge the barriers between people and cultures. Julia now has about 20 new friends in the United States who are cheering her on, plus more than 40 fellow students at the English school who are her newest Afghan peers.

Time will tell how long the Air Force will allow me to stay in Afghanistan. Whether it's three more months or nine, I know now for absolute sure that one absolutely amazing young woman here will never forget me or my friends who reached out to help her. And that right there is why I am willing to do what I do in the United States Air Force. Sure, life in Afghanistan for an American woman can be scary bordering on terrifying, and I often spend my days scratching my head in absolute bewilderment...but in the end, the positive far outweighs the negative.

I met Julia. Our relationship has reminded me of why I've dedicated 10 years of my life to service. She gives me a perspective on the lives of women in developing countries that I could not otherwise experience. And working with her makes me prouder than ever to be an American woman who choses to wear a military uniform.